Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
