he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
