Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
