operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
