He kissed a someone with a penis
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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