Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Just high enough for therapy.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
