I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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