i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
