mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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