i already hear my dad disowning me
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
