some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
