His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
