shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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