Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
