whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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