Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
