yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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