The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
