His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
