She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
