Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
