Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
