ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
im about as happy as oj after his trial
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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