6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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