We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
