If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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