He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
