Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
