WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
