you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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