I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
