Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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