remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
