YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
