My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
