shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
