I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
this is an emotional support booty call
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Randomize
