I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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