Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
sex in a hospital.. check
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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