did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
