Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
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