and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
