i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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