I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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