I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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