Only a mothe r could love this liver
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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