Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
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