chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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