You're so nebulous sometimes
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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