Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
