No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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