he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
