i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
