I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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