I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
